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Tupperware at the Battle of Agincourt Performed by Actor Manager Sir Liam Timamarrete

The famous Shakespearean Actor Manager Sir Liam Timamarrete came out of his nursing home for Knackered Actors especially to record this new version of Henry V's infamous St Crispy Lettuce Day Speech. Updated for modern times, this recording combines the old and the new in a fascinating way which will have you reaching for your plastic containers - cherish them, people, cherish them.

Tupperware at the Battle of Agincourt

Click the link to hear Sir Liam's performance, be ready with your hankies, so moving.

“WESTMORELAND. O that we now had here But one ten thousand of those Tupperwares in England That do no work to-day! KING. What's he that wishes so? My cousin Westmoreland? No, my fair cousin; If we are mark'd to die, we are enow To do our country loss, and if to live, The fewer Tupperware, the greater share of honour. God's will! I pray thee, wish not one Tupperware more. By Jove, I am not covetous for gold, Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost; It yearns me not if Tupperware my garments wear; Such outward things dwell not in my desires. But if it be a sin to covet Tupperware, I am the most offending soul alive. No, faith, my coz, wish not a Tupperware from England. God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour As one Tupperware more methinks would share from me For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more! Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host, That he which hath no stomach to this fight, Let him depart; his passport shall be made, And crowns for convoy put into his purse; We would not die in that Tupperware's company That fears his fellowship to die with us. This day is call'd the feast of Crispian. He that outlives this day, and comes safe home, Will stand a tip-toe by his fridge, And rouse him at the name of Crispian. He that shall live this day, and see old age, Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours, And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.' Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars, And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.' Old Tupperware forget; yet all shall be forgot, But he'll remember, with advantages, What feats he did that day. Then shall our names, Familiar in his mouth as household words- Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter, Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester- Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red. This story shall the good Tupperware teach his son; And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by, From this day to the ending of the world, But we in it shall be remembered- We few, we happy few, we band of Tupperware; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile, This day shall gentle his condition; And gentle Tupperware in England now-a-bed Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here, And hold their cheap Tupperware whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispy Lettuce day.”

Amelia Marriette © May 2022

It's possible that Sir Liam may be well enough to revive his performance as the Ghost of Shakespeare in the play Nay, Remember Me! written by Amelia Marriette, but his leg amputation has set him back a bit. More news coming soon!

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This is clever and funny, well done..... I look forward to the next instalment.

Perhaps you recall that famous speech by Edmund in King Lear, "God stand up for Tupperware!"

Amelia Marriette
Amelia Marriette
May 24, 2022
Replying to

I do! What a classic that is. Sir Liam might be persuaded to cast his eyes over it and perform again!

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